Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Hospital bus shelter dullness

Colchester Gazette: Bus shelter installed at Colchester General Hospital

Don't get your hopes up - it's for private patients only. NHS waits in the rain.

Spotter's Badge: Alice

Wedding selfie dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Couple take a selfie during their wedding

We hope you are going somewhere near the coast for your honeymoon. So you can GET IN THE SEA.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Dead shark dullness

Kent Online: Dead shark found on Sheerness beach

Is it behind that crowd of schoolgirls?


Spotter's Badge: Neil

Yellow bird dullness

Bexley News Shopper: Man takes photo of yellow bird, can now die happy

In the words of Oscar Wilde:

A yellow bird
With a yellow bill
Landed on
My windowsill.
So I lured it in
With a piece of glass
And then I kicked it
In the arse. 

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Monday, 28 September 2015

Sunday, 27 September 2015

Saturday, 26 September 2015

Golden Arches dullness

Hartlepool Mail: Nothing taken in McDonald's break-in

But we'll have to wait for a full audit on the ketchup sachets until we can be 100% certain.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Friday, 25 September 2015

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Bristol dullness

Bristol 24/7: Local journo goes for a walk, finds some goat poo

I went for a walk the other day, found a sock. In fifty years time, I'll take it on Antiques Roadshow, where I'll be told it is "possibly one of a pair".

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Ant dullness

Boston Standard: Some interesting facts about ants

The Boston Standard appear to have employed Peter Cook's fabulously dull E L Wisty character as a columnist

Monday, 21 September 2015

Sunday, 20 September 2015

New job dullness

Leamingston Spa Courier: Woman gets new job

Wills and probate executive. That's just a couple of job steps away from the holy grail: Lion tamer

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Saturday, 19 September 2015

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Not actually Kate Middleton dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Somebody called Kate Middleton gets her exam results

This will be the one and only dull news item we ever have about school exam results.They didn't even have any photos of teenagers jumping into the air clutching pieces of paper, as the law demands. Poor show.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Monday, 14 September 2015

Adult colouring books dullness

Nottingham Post: Stop it. Stop it now

This is the worst craze ever, even worse than deeley-boppers.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Sock dispute dullness

Bexhill Observer: Hospital has uniform code for nurses

...which has currently caught out this many nurses: No nurses.

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Stolen bike dullness

Dorset Echo: Bicycle stolen

I've added a picture of no bikes, just in case you had no idea what no bikes might look like.

Spotter's Badge: Debster

Monday, 7 September 2015

Riots on the streets of Henley dullness

Henley Standard: Wheelbarrow kicked over

They'll certainly think twice before parking their wheelbarrow on double yellows again.

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Big trainers dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Size 18 shoes donated to charity shop

You know what they say about men with big shoes? 99% certainty of big feet. The other 1% have a big feet fetish.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Friday, 4 September 2015

Topman dullness

Gazette Live: Middlesbrough's Topman and Topshop now trading on the same floor

How the mighty have fallen. They've never recovered from the introduction of high-end fashion retailers Sports Direct.

Spotter's Badge: Don

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Potato dullness

Nottingham Post: Man astounds city of Nottingham with his potato shaped like a heart

Rather fewer people interested with his carrot shaped like a willy.


Kent Online: Potato allegedly shaped like a whale

No it isn't.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Fishy dullness

Dorset Echo: Simple island folk celebrate opening of Britian's first lumpfish hatchery

FACT: Any story about Portland has to BY LAW start with the words "Simple island folk"

Update: I have learned (see the comments) that Swansea City midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson owns a lumpfish business.This must rank as the most WTF piece of football trivia of all time.